The Klingon Bard

Apr 09

Filk: The Night The Dauntless Cried

Tune: The Night Chicago Died  (Callender/Murray)
______________________

Divergents had to stop
The Massacre of Chicago
After the U.S.A.
Now in the new bad days

There was a plan by the Erudite
To repress the Dauntless will
And make Abnegation die
And they talk about it still
When Jeanine The Mean, The Crone
Tried to make this town her own
And she made us go to war
Against the ones who make the law

Triss watched her mama die
I heard her screams the night the Dauntless cried
Brother, what a night it really was
Helpless, in the fight it really wasn’t ever me
She saw her daddy die
She saw him give his life so she could try
Brother what a night the people saw
Sister what a fight the people saw, yes indeed

It was wrong but I could not change
With the drug that I had inside
We were just like a hoodlum gang
They surrendered, or they died
Then we lined them on their knees
So we could kill them at our ease
Then I asked someone who said
'Bout a hundred them are dead

Triss watched her mama die
I heard her screams the night the Dauntless cried
Brother, what a night it really was
Helpless, in the fight it really wasn’t ever me
She saw her daddy die
She saw him give his life so she could try
Brother what a night the people saw
Sister what a fight the people saw, yes indeed

Then there was no sound at all
Before assassinate them all
<*tick*tock*sweat*drop*tick*tock*>
Then the Erudite fog was gone!
Divergent deed was done!
Then the Dauntless hide our face
While Abnegation runs away

The night the Dauntless cried
The night the Dauntless cried
Brother what a night the people saw
Sister what a fight the people saw, yes indeed

The night the Dauntless cried
The night the Dauntless cried
Brother, what a night it really was
Helpless, in the fight it really wasn’t ever me

The night the Dauntless cried
The night the Dauntless cried
Brother what a night the people saw
Sister what a fight the people saw, yes indeed
<fade>
________________________________

Qe’van, Bard of Nor
April, 2014

Jan 26

Filk: I Am The Very Model Of The Modern Starfleet Officer

Tune: I Am The Very Model Of The Modern Major-General (G&S)
____________________________________________

I am the very model of the modern Starfleet Officer
A’warping here, a’warping there, a warrior philosopher.
I talk more techno-babble than the evil bad guy enemy
And break the laws of nature like Sir Newton’s Laws and entropy.
I am very well acquainted too with matters astronimical
And knowing all the races both the war-like and the logical.
I comb the interplanetary net for all illegal news…
Of Romulans, Cardassians and pirates out of Betelgeuse.
I never cheat at 3-D Chess or Poker or Parisi Squares
And many times I nix the turbo-lift and use the creeping stairs
For I am boldly going forward; I am not a crawfisher.
I am the very model of the modern Starfleet Officer.

I study mythic history, The Federation’s and the fleet’s.
I sing the songs of Kahless and I know of Hercules’ feats.
I write in Vulcan hieroglyphs philosophies taught by Surak.
I know the crimes of Colonel Green, Kahn Noonian Singh and Beeblebrox.
With just a glance I guess the dance of green Orion mother’s girls.
I know the history and culture of a thousand other worlds.
And I can quote the Captains and the Officers and ken the size…
Of every Starship that has had the mythic name of “Enterprise”.
I speak in fluent Horta and I wave the war-signs to the Gorn.
I know how every body looks both in and out of uniform.
And in my Captain’s ready-room I have a tête-à-tête with her
For I’m the very model of the modern Starfleet Officer.

I find a lusty lay on every planet, moon or docking port.
(Their noses all look funny but the nose ain’t what I’m looking for)
I scan a scan and then the scanners find a fukkin’ flux in space.
I gotta fix this flux unless it’s history for the Huxin race.
A particle accelerator’s really good at ‘nomolies
But if your particle is rare and not in nature normally
A Holodeck/Transporter fix will always help with this because…
The Holo~porter~replicators break all known existing laws.
I will lead in Engineering and at other times I follow well.
I play at doctor when the Holodoc is not so holo-well.
Yes, I am boldly going forward, I am not a crawfisher,
I am the very model of the modern Starfleet Officer.
_________________________________

Qe’van, Bard of Nor
Original Summer, 1996 (original insta-filk)
Updated  July,   2001 (lengthened to full song)
Updated  January 2014 (added triple rhymes)

Filk: Red Wedding

Tune: White Wedding (Billy Idol)
____________________________

Hey Tully Catelyn, what have you done?
Hey Tully Catelyn, where’s your oldest son?
Hey Tully Catelyn, Robb’s a promised man,
Hey Tully Catelyn, broken promises,
Hey Tully Catelyn: Locked in!
It’s a bad night for Starks again.
It’s a nice night for a Red Wedding.
It’s a bad night for Starks again.

Hey Tully Catelyn, what have you done?
Hey Tully Catelyn, where’s your oldest son?
You’re in the way for too long.
Houses of Frey are too strong.
Lanisters will help with their song.
It’s a bad night for Starks again.
Come on, it’s a nice night for a Red Wedding.
It’s a bad night for Starks again!
<howl!>

Cut’em up!
Fuck all your guest rights!
There is nothing fair in this world, uh-huh,
When there are Lannisters in this world.
And there’s nothing sure in this world
When there’s Walder Freys in this world.
To your older gods in this woooorld, pray again!
Come on, it’s a nice night for a Red Wedding!
<howl!>
It’s a bad night for Starks again!
It’s a bad night for Starks again!
It’s a bad night for Starks again!
It’s a bad night for Starks again!
____________________________

Qe’van, Bard of Nor
January, 2014

Jan 23

Filksong: Knocking On Penny’s Door

Tune: Knocking on Heaven’s Door (Bob Dylan)
_______________________

Amy has something that she wants from me
And not deny her anymore
She’s in my bedroom waiting patiently
Here I go knocking on Penny’s door.

Knock, knock, knocking on Penny’s door.
Knock, knock, knocking on Penny’s door.
Knock, knock, knocking on Penny’s door.
Just like so many times before.

Leonard, drive me for a comic fix
‘Cause I can’t walk there anymore
I took a train there once with Wolowitz
No? Here I am knocking on Penny’s door.

Knock, knock, knocking on Penny’s door.
Knock, knock, knocking on Penny’s door.
Knock, knock, knocking on Penny’s door.
Just like so many times before.

Mama, I’m ill. I have a temperature.
I need “Soft Kitty” like before.
But you’re in Texas, far away from here.
Once again, I’m knocking on Penny’s door.

Knock, knock, knocking on Penny’s door.
Knock, knock, knocking on Penny’s door.
Knock, knock, knocking on Penny’s door.
Just like so many times before.
Knock, knock, knocking on Penny’s door.
Knock, knock, knocking on Penny’s door.
Knock, knock, knocking on Penny’s door.
<fade>
_______________________

Qe’van, Bard of Nor
January, 2014

Jan 13

The Klingon Bard turned 2 today!

The Klingon Bard turned 2 today!

(Source: assets)

Nov 22

Filk: Castiel

Filk: Castiel
TTTO: Yesterday (Lennon/McCartney)
——————————————————————
Castiel?
Where you you when all the angels fell?
Were you cavorting with the King of Hell?
I’ll find you yet, oh Castiel.

Suddenly,
I’m not angelic like I used to be
I feel hunger and I need to pee.
Metatron, what did you do to me?
Angels fallen down, all around, they seek my face.
I did something wrong, now I long for my lost grace…

Sam & Dean.
Winchester brothers, you are quite the team.
Drive your Impala to the bloody scene.
Oh, Castiel and Sam and Dean
Supernatural folk they all are flying out this way.
Castiel has no grace. How he longs for yesterday…

Castiel?
Where you you when all the angels fell?
Were you cavorting with the King of Hell?
I’ll find you yet, oh Castiel.
Mm mm mm mm mm mm mm
——————————————————————
Qe’van, Bard of Nor - November, 2013

Jul 22

thejordanator:

NANTS! INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA

thejordanator:

NANTS! INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA

Jun 14

Bad Amy

Bad Amy

May 20

heyitsthatgirlashley:

I don’t always take pictures at cons, but when I do it’s with the Dos Equis guy. #dosequis #dallascomiccon #staythirstymyfriends

That&#8217;s me.  :)

heyitsthatgirlashley:

I don’t always take pictures at cons, but when I do it’s with the Dos Equis guy. #dosequis #dallascomiccon #staythirstymyfriends

That’s me.  :)

Mar 24

[video]